I Am THISCLOSE To Sleeping On The Couch.

I'm currently on my phone while lying in bed because I can't sleep. And do you know why I can't sleep?

My husband's constant farting in his sleep.

He keeps ripping ass SO loudly I'm surprised he hasn't woken himself up yet. Also? Worst smells I've ever encountered in my life.

And the best part? They just keep coming. One after another after another. In the past hour I've been lying here awake, he's farted at LEAST 15 times in his sleep. That's one every 4 minutes. I keep having to bury my face in my pillow to escape the odor so I can breathe.

WTF did he eat for dinner while I was at work tonight???? Holy crap on a cracker.