Because I'm curious...

In my high school theater program, our final culmination project was writing, directing, and acting in a 30-minute one person show about a real person - most often historical, sometimes modern. Some people stretched it and chose fictional people who have had profound effects on the real world. I never made it to that class (the program was run like a conservatory and you had to advance through, and I started a year late) but always think about what I would have done. So I'm curious, if you had to write/direct/star in a 30-minute show about anyone, who would you pick and why?

My choice is odd and nerdy. I'd love to become Ethel Merman, Broadway's first First Lady, for 30 minutes. She essentially pioneered women starring in musicals and making choices for themselves about the stage. Many people now might find her voice annoying, but they didn't have mics back then! And I think it would be really fun to try and sing like her. Plus, she cussed up a storm whenever possible, took no shit from anyone, and got married four times. Courtesy of Wikipedia, one of my favorite Ethel Merman quotes:

"Borgnine (her fourth and apparently least-favorite husband) told fellow actor Frank Wilson that he spent about three weeks of his 32-day marriage arguing with Merman. By the end, he recounted how she came back from a film one day and said,"The director said I looked sensational. He said I had the face of a 20 year old, and the body and legs of a 30 year old!", Borgnine replied, "Did he say anything about your old cunt?". "No" replied Ethel, "he didn't mention you at all."

Bam.