Just a little formula I'm pondering. What must X equal for the 3 possible outcomes?

(X years in NYC) * (365 days) * (2 subway rides per day) * (10 min per wait) * (2 mutated rats per track) * (2 track per station) = outcome 1, 2, or 3

outcome 1: permanent trauma

outcome 2: complete indifference

outcome 3: fascination with wildlife

CONTINUALLY UPDATED FORMULA:

((X years in NYC) * (365 days) * (2 subway rides per day) * (10 min per wait) * (2 mutated rats per track) * (2 track per station) + ((Y years subway experience prior to NYC)^2)) / (($ saved by using system) * (time saved by using system)) = outcome 1, 2, or 3