Dear Starbucks Employee,

Please do not put regular cow milk in my soy latte instead of soy milk. I'm not being pretentious when I order that. Or trendy. There is a reason I order that particular drink that has nothing to do with being fake healthy.

It's difficult to tell it's milk sometimes when I am drinking it, or I would not drink it after getting home with it. And, I need the coffee, and I broke the coffee press (the cheapest way to make coffee ever besides Sanka) because I tripped over the cat and dropped it. I cannot afford to get a new one right now, but I did have a gift certificate for you, dear dear Starbucks.

There are some who might say I'm imagining things, that soy and milk taste the same in coffee. And that can be true. But, that is not the problem. You see, as always, if it's milk, and not soy, I get confirmation later in the day. A part of me will clarify that point reasonably quickly.

So, I know you did it. I KNOW. EVERY PART OF ME KNOWS. Also, ouch and so forth.

So, please, do not do that. Just say you are out of soy milk. That's okay. I will understand.

Best wishes for a better day tomorrow,

Me.