So I wanted to mull this overnight before sharing. I was on The Book Of Faces, and an ex from long long ago messages me. He and I are strictly friends, though more like acquaintances. We'll talk once in a while but nothing really heart to heart. In anycase, I were online, and this ex, we call him Pifwiffler, he randomly says haloo to me. I returned his salutation, and then he decides to have this conversation with me.
Pifwiffler*: So I have a really awkward question to ask you.
Bumble: Well, I can't guarantee that I'll answer but you can always ask.
Pifwiffler: So...My gf wants to do an asian girl...(Wat. Wat. Wat is this? Wat?)
Bumble: Yeah, well, fetishists need not apply.
Pifwiffler: Not quite...We both have lists of things we wanna do before marriage, and this isn't about me (Really??? How generous of you). But I will find someone else (that sounds like a threat. And I hope the girl you find realizes before sexytimes occur that they're only doing this to satisfy their fetish. Oh, I'm sorry, the gf's fetish.) It's one of those 100% sexual things I wouldn't want to deny her (Oh truly, you are a kind and magnanimous soul, to not deny her this experience).
Bumble: Because there's nothing sexier than being a bullet point on someone else's sex list.
Pifwiffler: Well it's all good. I had to ask. (No, you didn't, fucknut. No, you didn't.)
*Edited for clarity. My reactions are in the parentheses