almost every time i've talked to my mom on the phone in the past few months i have been so irritated and angry. i don't know why that is. when i saw her last weekend i was fine and not angry at all but when i talk to her on the phone i am just so snippy and rude.

she just called to ask if i can drive my cousin home for passover which is fine - i can do it it's not problem. i am pissed off that we're doing passover seder the sunday night before i have an exam at 10am the next day, but when she emailed asking when a good time would be for seder i didn't look at my calendar so i didn't suggest saturday and she didn't think about doing it saturday because my dad is away for business till friday and he does most of the cooking blah blah blah it makes sense fine.

i feel bad for being so mean to her and i don't know why i am. i think that the stress i'm under at school is just coming out when i talk to herand right now i'm crying writing this. fucking fuck fuckkkkk

i just feel bad and she's not good to talk to for a lot of stuff because she wants to fix it - you know she gives advice instead of listening (which i totally do too - got it from her no surprise). probably because she's my mom i take her for granted and i feel like she'll still love me if when im bitchy.

i've just been ignoring a lot of stuff in an effort to 'focus' on school work but it's not even that effective because every so often it all just piles up and then i get angry and sad.