1. Florida State

You are openly jealous of your relative that worked at Disney World that one summer

2. Alabama

Your "not all Southerners" self-defense speech is better known to you than the Pledge of Allegiance.

3. Oregon

One of your life's ambitions is to live on a houseboat someday.

4. Oklahoma

You think of Okies who fled the Dust Bowl for California as the worst breed of quitters.

5. Ohio State

Your neckties are hung neatly in your closet

6. Auburn

Your "not all Southerners" defense speech references Alabama fans as a negative example.

7. UCLA

You intentionally avoid asking for a raise so that you can continue to look down on those snotty rich USC fans

8. Michigan State

You earnestly believe that you have been referenced in an Eminem song.

9. South Carolina

Your "not all Southerner's" speech contends that the Carolinas aren't really "The South"

10. Baylor

You have embellished the extent of your sinning as part of a youth-group testimony.

11. Stanford

You have already contacted the AP about the methodological deficiencies in their ranking system and that Stanford should actually be ranked 27th.

12. Georgia

You or a relative was mentioned in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

13. LSU

Your "not all Southerners" speech is based on the distinction between "Cajun" and "Creole"

14. Wisconsin

You are currently whistling "On Wisconsin"

15. USC

You don't understand why your UCLA friends manage their money so poorly.

16. Clemson

When talking to people, you often try subtly to figure out whether or not they know where Clemson is located.

17. Notre Dame

The fact that you are a Notre Dame fan is your only outstanding personality feature.

18. Ole Miss

You don't understand why anyone would need a "not all Southerners" speech.

19. Arizona State

Next year you will totally get your shit together in time to make it to Burning Man

20. Kansas State

You are up to 16 on your "50 reasons Kansas isn't boring" list.

21. Texas A&M

You pride yourself on your ability to remain polite while explaining the logical and factual flaws in Aggie jokes.

22. Nebraska

You are up to 21 on your "50 reasons Kansas isn't boring" list [Sorry, I guess that this joke doesn't work. What I was going for is that Nebraska is so boring that Kansas seems much more interesting by comparison.]

23. North Carolina

You keep forgetting that it isn't basketball season yet.

24. Missouri

Your "not all Southerners" speech is often derailed when you have to explain to people that Missouri is part of the South.

25. Washington

You get flustered explaining that you mean Washington State, not Washington DC, but also not Washington State University