One of my friends recently started a blog of millennial dating tales, and I read through it sometimes because I love a good (or so-bad-it's-good) dating story. A lot of the stories she gets are cringe-worthy, but this one is downright terrifying. The girl misremembered when she was meeting a guy from OKC and accidentally stood him up. His response:
So you took my "got stood up" virginity. I've always wondered how that would feel like. So, having some spare time and some anger, I thought to myself what would make me feel happy. Here it is: I wish you fall into an open manhole, straight into a massive pile of rotten feces. Trying to get up, you quickly realize that both of your legs are nothing but disfigured, broken twigs. You scream and shake uncontrollably, which summons an eery rustling sound, getting louder and more frequent. Before you can bat an eye, your body is covered by a sickening, grayish coat of plague-ridden sewer rats. They proceed to gnaw at your face at breakneck speed. Seconds later, there is nothing but a pile of bones, resting easy at their shit-nest. Fuck you.
She sincerely apologized, at which point he offered to meet up again. She declined. Can't imagine why.