Originally referenced here. I apologize if this gets confusing.http://groupthink.jezebel.com/dating-is-bull...
So essentially...the last couple of days were really strange, but I just decided to go through the front door and ask him out again. I got a really wishy washy noncommittal answer and just kind of left it at that. Wrote it off as he wasn't interested and went along my merry way.
Then, as I was getting ready to meet up with friends later, I got a string of text messages from him asking if we were still going to a karaoke party that night that I had invited him to last weekend. This was honestly a surprise because I clearly remembered inviting him to come along, but he seemed uninterested because of the distance (it was at a place about 30 minutes north of the city and he drives a motorcycle 90% of the time, plus it's been 110 fucking degrees here for the past week.) I say "oh, you do want to come after all?" and he tells me that he "thought I never formally invited him", which I don't understand at all, but I clarify and say once again, "yes, if you would like to come, I'd be more than happy for you to join me." to which his response is "um, no, I think I will stay home. I have been feeling down for the past few days." Okay then. He says "I haven't been feeling good or like myself for the past few days." I tell him I kind of picked up on that vibe from him and didn't want to press or pry, but that he could shoot me a text if he needed to talk, hope he feels better, etc etc.
Then he comes back and tells me that I seemed disinterested and like I was pulling away from him. (Here's the part where this shit doesn't add up at all.) So I tell him, plain as day, "listen, I really like you, I just get nervous and a little scared of doing/saying the wrong thing sometimes because dating is all new to me again (I've been single for 15ish months and actively chose not to see anyone during that time.) but I don't mean for that to appear standoffish or cold. I want to keep seeing you and getting to know you."
Radio silence. No response at all.
Next day I get a message that says "well, we're in a similar position because I'm not even sure that I want to date at all right now."
Uh. Alright. Nevermind the lavish dates, the night we spent together, telling your best friend out of state about me. Okay. You don't want to date right now. So I say, "Okay. That's a little surprising to me. Wasn't catching that vibe at all. I'll tell you though that while I'm not trying to find a boyfriend tomorrow, I'm out here looking for someone to date on the regular that might eventually blossom into something more. If you're not looking for the same we probably should stop talking." Then he freaks out and says "well, wait, I just was distancing myself because I thought you weren't into me. I'm sorry."
Um. What the fuck? Also, how do you surmise a lack of interest from you and I talking every day, spending the night together, me telling you VERBATIM how much I dig you? I don't understand. I know I'm a little nervous and reserved at first, but seriously?
I gave up the texting thing at that point and waited a few hours and just called him and that got more confusing. No straight answers there either, just that he was surprised that I got worried and that EVERYTHING WAS FINE and the only reason why he didn't commit to plans next week was because he's in the midst of a big project.
Basically, I feel like I could have just left it alone at the point where he didn't want to make plans the next week. This feels like a huge game of cat and mouse, back and forth, I like you, I don't like you, you seem disinterested, now you're too interested and too worried, I don't want to date, but everything is fine and you need to calm down.
I get this feeling like the thing I was supposed to/expected to do was play it cool or whatever, but I didn't think I was jumping the gun at all, and then, how is it that I'm overthinking and appearing disinterested in the same breath? I think this is a metric fuckton of mixed signals.
Sigh. Bye Felicia.