Oh, you guys. This. I cannot. I just. What in the fuck. This is a real thing.

Today in: "Inventions That Make me Sad For Humans"

I don't know, John, I just really have a hard time keeping up with my texts because I just get so thirsty! If only there was a way to drink my icy cold beverage while sending my "LOL"s....

Enter the "iStraw." It's a tumbler that you can attach your phone to. So you can continue to text with one hand while drinking with the other. Because, you know, it doesn't seem to make any sense to actually put your phone down for the 2 seconds it'll take you to take a sip of your iced vanilla latte. In fact, it appears to be more work to attach your phone to it, and then try to awkwardly push buttons with your thumb in front of your face while simultaneously sucking your liquid beverage through the straw. Hope you're super coordinated!

Imagine doing that, right now.

Hold your cup with one hand as if taking a sip, and place your other hand right in front of your face so you can text "LOL" to your friend in response to their text about their new Vine. Weird, dudes. Just...weird.

And Food Network Magazine's September 2013 issue has it front and center in their Martha-esque "good things" page. (page 35, for those of you have have this glossy in your possession.)

Do we need an iPhone attachment for everything now? I mean... WHUT.