Holy goddamn crap, it's here. ATM and I getting married piece-of-paper-wise next May, but he's moving here - into my house - officially in two weeks, and he'll be down this weekend to bring stuff. I am...happy, and this is what I've wanted for years, but holy damn it's a little bit scary up in this grill. I can't just belt Demi Lovato and the Nashville soundtrack with wild abandon anymore; I have to not be messy. I have to board my dog while his cat gets "acclimated."

This is my last weekend by myself as a non-aunt in a crappy job - whoa

The bottom line is I'm really scared. Things are happening - I got that new job, which is a total yay, but I will have to learn a whole new section of the law. Yes, I'm excited, yes, I'm grateful, just as with my fiancé coming here. I just can't believe moving (or, rather, someone moving in) and changing jobs is happening at THE EXACT SAME TIME.

And my lovely, beautiful, not-at-all ready (did not know she was going to instantly get pregnant after her wedding at 36) sister is having a baby ON WEDNESDAY. I can't be there for her until a few weeks from now. To make matters worse, I can't go on Facebook and see things (although I'm sure my fiancé will screenshot for me) because Facebook gives me anxiety attacks.

I'm overwhelmed and trying not to take Benadryl and hide in bed. I'm upright on my computer arranging playlists. My fiancé and sister are worried and want me in therapy (again) but with a new job, jeez, that's going to be hard to pull off. I have to do it somehow.