"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE THAT"

"YOU'VE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF THIS" (WE'VE HEARD OF SHIT LIKE KOUMISS. LIKE F'REAL)

"YOU DIDN'T MAKE THAT RIGHT"

"CAN I GET SOME MORE - C'MON, HOOK ME UP" (IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, WE WON'T)

AND - IF YOU ARE HIRING US -

"ARE YOU LICENSED AND INSURED?" (HAHAHAHAHAAA. WE ARE ALREADY CRIMINALLY AND CIVILLY LIABLE FOR EVERYTHING, AND NO FREELANCE BARTENDER CARRIES A MILLION DOLLARS IN COVERAGE) THERE ARE NO LICENSES FOR BARTENDERS.

LOVE YOU ALL.

I'LL BE AROUND TONIGHT.

WOOOO.

ETA: ALSO PEOPLE WHO DO SHIT LIKE TIP A QUARTER. IN THE US, WE MAKE ALL OUR MONEY OFF OF TIPS, AND WE PAY TAXES BASED ON SALES, SO PEOPLE WHO DO SHIT LIKE THAT CAN ACTUALLY COST US MONEY, AND THEY SHOULD BE FUCKING ASHAMED.