February 20, Denial: "It's ALWAYS still this cold now, it's February. Spring will come soon, just another week or two and it'll start warming up, I know it will!"

February 28, Anger: "Why the f*** is it still 9 degrees out? This is bullshit. WTF is going on, it's normally at least above 32 degrees by now. Ugh!"

March 4, Bargaining:"Dear God, if you just make it start to warm up, I promise I'll stop using the f-word so much."

March 12, Depression: "Why bother getting out of bed before 11am, it's just cold and miserable outside, and I have zero motivation to do jack s*** because of this weather, anyway. Everything is cold and gross out. I'll just eat my weight in chocolate and mashed potatoes and live on my couch under a blanket watching Netflix. Leave me alone."

March 26, Acceptance: "(Looks at forecast for April 1st and sees snow predicted. Again.) This is forever, people. Winter is here to stay. Illinois will forever be time-locked in perma-cold. Might as well just sell my flip flops on ebay and buy more boots and scarves, and start saving up for a trip to Mexico if I ever want to feel sun and warmth ever again."