Evening, folks. In case you hadn't heard, I got a job!

Sand Sack! Evening Gossip!S

Zoe Saladna may have got a husband though, but that doesn't beat my news. She maybe got married without telling and/or inviting any of us. How dare she? I'm def not sending her a garlic press now. I didn't even know she was dating, but since breaking up with Bradley Cooper, she's been seeing artist/former soccer player Marco Perego. How do we know they're married?

The 35-year-old actress attempted to hide her reported new accessory with her right hand as she and Marco left Loulou's member's club in Mayfair...Adding to the rumours, Marco, 35, also wore a gold wedding band on his left hand - doing his utmost to hide the ring.

Aha! Aha, Zoe! We're on to you! And I was kidding. I'll send her a garlic slicer. They're better than crushers.


Sand Sack! Evening Gossip!S

Another wedding! Katie Couric this time. Widowed in 1998, she's been dating banker John Molner for 2 years and now they're engaged! YAY! She hasn't publicly commented, but told the Feb issue of More that

It's actually surprising to me that it has been almost 15 years and I haven't remarried. I think life is more fun when you have someone in your life.

Awww. I'm glad for the original twerker. I'm sure losing your husband is hard and I'm glad she's found someone else who makes her happy. If I'm invited, I'm planning on getting her a creme brulee set. You can get 'em at a good price at BBB. Complete with torch!

But now some shade...it was announced on Good Morning America. I don't know if Katie has beef with NBC and the Today show, but let's pretend she does!


Sand Sack! Evening Gossip!S
Jennifer Lopez is on the cover of Cosmo and is kinda apologizing for the whole singing at a dictator's party for a lot of cash.

Admitting that her appearance at the birthday party of the president of Turkmenistan earlier this year was a mistake: “I know that being seen as a role model means taking responsibility for all my actions. I am human, and of course, sometimes I make mistakes. But I promise that when I fall, I get back up. When I am wrong, I will learn the lesson and move on to face other challenges. For me, that’s what creating your own life is. Doing your best work while being your best self.”

Is that an apology? Kinda feels like one, kinda feels like a whatever, I do what I want (especially if it's for $$$$).

Also! Did you know her boyfriend's first name is actually NOT Casper? It's Beau! I feel sooo much better about that relationship now!

Also! Someone with Cosmo! Please tell us what the scary thing 90% of men fantasize about!


Sand Sack! Evening Gossip!S

Kerry Washington (who will always be Gus's Mira to me) is on Glamour and opens up about why she doesn't open up on her love life

"I learned through experience that it doesn't work for me to talk about my personal life. I've had earlier times in my career when I did talk about it. I was on the cover of a bridal magazine...But I couldn't just turn around and say, 'I only want to talk about the good stuff, but not the bad stuff.' So I just thought, 'OK, no more.'"

She was engaged to David Moscow back in the day and I guess that made her more private. Did you know David played little Tom Hanks in Big?


Farrah Abraham thought being a feminist meant being a lesbian (but not a lesbian shit ass). First she was confused between feminine and feminist, but good for her, she asked a clarifying question: “What does that mean, that you’re a lesbian or something?" And when the interviewer clarified, she seemed to understand.

Finally clued in, Farrah said, “Oh, I definitely feel that women are equal to men. No doubt about that. I mean, women should have equal rights to men, everyday.”

Yay!? I think? I dunno. By the way, she's still sticking to the James Deen was my boyfriend and it was a sex tape, not a porn thing.


Odds and Ends:

Shaq. Shaq singing. Shaq singing to a picture of Levar Burton.

True Blood's leaving the air.

Racist Aaryn's mom is defending her...by using the "She's got minority friends!" defense.

Kris Jenner got Robert Shapiro to rep Lamar in his DUI case. Kim's blonde, kinda. Khloe wishes she were made of steel. Kourtney charges $150 per person for meet and greets.

And now, in honor of Reading Rainbow, the video I once made a class watch when they were being horrid to each other during group work. It actually worked...not because they loved it, but because I threatened to show it if I saw them being bummy to each other.