(Backstory for those just joining us, I am a part time prostitute, even though I'm a squid, I've been using my Kinja to blog about this.)
I am working on a real diary entry but the subject matter is a bit sensitive so I'm being careful it's not obnoxious before I post it. But in the meantime here are some of the aborted bookings that happened since my last diary entry.
#1 The Poor Haggling Student
Contacted me for a booking. Said he'd "agree" to the booking if I accepted about two thirds of the rate. I replied they I don't haggle. He replied raising his offer by $20. (THIS IS HAGGLING, YOU ARE EXACTLY DOING HAGGLING.) He texted "I'm just a poor student lol :)". I told him to stop texting me.
#2 The Alleged Drummer
Asked for a 2 am booking after his gig somewhere in the city. Texted at 1.40 am to say he'd left his wallet in the club and couldn't pay me in money but would I like some crystal meth instead. I politely declined and cancelled the booking.
#3 The Guy with the Girlfriend
He sounded very drunk when he called but this is not unusual. I got to his place and a woman answered the door. Well not answered, stood behind the locked screen door and interrogated me as you would a total stranger who comes rings the doorbell after midnight asking to see your boyfriend. Between us we worked out that after he had come over and they had a fight, he sulked off to the back room and called a hooker to come over, because Jack Daniels. He never came to the door, but I heard her going off to speak to him. I cancelled the booking. She got his wallet and paid me the full booking fee out of it.
#4 The Man with the Worst Luck in the World.
Booked three times. Cancelled three times. The first time he had to work late. The second time he was in a car accident. The third time there was a death in the family. Because "I keep wanting to do this but keep chickening out" is more difficult to say. He's had his three strikes.
#5 The One Who Clearly Hasn't Read Tina Fey's Memoir 'Bossypants'
Called for a booking. Complained about the price. Wanted anal. Complained that was extra. Asked to see me on a weekday morning. I told him my ad clearly says I work evenings only. He called me a cunt. I told him he doesn't get to call me that because my parents love me. He told me to fuck off and hung up.