Trendy Foods That Should Not Exist

Some foods are commonly eaten because they're delicious. Still others are eaten because they're readily available, often when nothing else is. And sometimes, foods are commonly eaten for no goddamn reason other than people say they're awesome, so that must logically make them awesome. » 6/26/14 11:00am 6/26/14 11:00am

Yes, There Are More Foods That Should Not Exist

Fast Foods That Should Not Exist

I love fast food so much that my feelings for it are probably illegal in Georgia. It's objectively disgusting, of course, but I truly love it. Give me a BK Double Stacker or a Big Mac or literally anything from Popeye's and I'm a happy (and gastrically-distressed) camper. But really, never has the tag for these… » 1/19/14 8:53pm 1/19/14 8:53pm

Foods That Should Exist (And Do, Obviously)


OK, guys. Here it is. I know a lot of you have been curious about what foods I love. I didn't pick obvious things (I mean, you know I love bacon, what the fuck would be the point in talking about it), or things I've already mentioned I love (with one exception that required some explanation, and also Peanut Sauce,… » 12/07/13 11:33am 12/07/13 11:33am

Yet More Foods That Should Not Exist

I was originally going to do the long-awaited "Foods That Should Exist" post this week. Believe me, I planned to. I had all the entries worked out and everything. Then I realized two things: 1) it is way, way easier to be funny about things you hate than about things you love, and 2) there are still so many foods I… » 11/30/13 11:00am 11/30/13 11:00am

Thanksgiving Foods That Should Not Exist + A Very Special Entry

Ahhh, Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday. I actually have a lot to be thankful for. I have a loving girlfriend, a surprisingly not-hate-worthy job in a city I quite like (despite the last entry on this article), and the English language has a seemingly-endless variety of ways to say that food is terrible. And what… » 11/23/13 10:26am 11/23/13 10:26am