"You're here looking for a Personal Statement Template, but that's like looking for a blueprint for your life! Every life is different and there is no blueprint, other than be born, die, and live like a mad person in between." Fuck you, Word-templates.com. I just want to know some basic formatting issues. Like, do we do this MLA paper formatting style, where in the upper left hand corner I put:

Hermione Stranger

Dr. Prof. (essor??) Head of the Department I'm Applying To

1/31/2014

Statement of Purpose

or what? AND WHAT IF THERE ARE TWO HEADS OF THE DEPARTMENTS I'M APPLYING TO BECAUSE IT'S A DUAL DEGREE PROGRAM!?!?!?

I just. Fuck your special snowflake bullshit. Standards are awesome. I just want to know how small I can make the margins to fit it all onto one page, and if it needs formal greetings ("Dear so-and-so... sincerely, Hermione Stranger"), and what's the deal with single spacing I mean my god how can people even read that shit. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING AS A TEMPLATE SITE IF YOU CANNOT PROVIDE ME THIS!?!?