I am trying not to care about this. It's not working. Help me out.

1. I am the only never-married single person in my entire extended family. I'm in my 40s. (Let me add that no one ever gives me the "why aren't you married speech because I'm fat and ugly, so at least I'm spared that.)

2. I stopped going to many of the large family events about five years ago because it was ALL kids, kids, kids, kids. I just have nothing to say. I can't talk about potty training and I was never really one to get along with kids until they can read and color and do art projects and play games. Like 7 or 8.

3. When I was in the hospital several times this past year, I heard nothing. Literally, zero. Yet I still get them presents if they have kids, bat mitzvah's, showers, etc. I get a massive guilt trip if I don't.

4. I have one set of cousins who has been incredibly rude. We were supposed to meet for breakfast and they just didn't show up. Didn't answer the phone. I lived in New York for a while and they never came to do things with me.
But my sister was up there for a weekend with her kids and they're all - we'd love to see you. My sister loves that she is everyone's favorite. She's basking in it. I know some of this is that I'm not going to Sesame Street World or Busch Gardens so I just am not part of these adventures.

I'm going to see them all at a wedding at the end of the summer and I really don't know what I'm going to say when they say "how come you don't come to the reunions?" Because you've made it clear that you could give a fuck about my life and that I'm just here to buy presents for your kids?

The adult in me says - you don't LIKE these people. They are really selfish and self-centered and rude. Who cares if they like your sister? It's not like they would actually be there for her if she needed them.

The child in me says - why don't you like me?

UUUGGGH. I am mad at myself for being mad about this. Thank you. Rant over.