I've come to realize I really don't mind how I look naked. I've always been curvy and I like curvy. So maybe it's more Renaissance nude than curvy. That's some Classical ass right there. But then I put on pants and they are like: ANNOUNCEMENT, YOU ARE FAT.

I would just be like SCREW YOU PANTS I'LL JUST GET BIGGER PANTS, but... I can't. I have finally crept to the upper limit of this possibility. Cause I'm a hair shy of 6 foot and all leg - proportions which camouflage a multitude of carb-related sins, but also means my continued ability to wear clothing depends on the whim of a very small selection of retailers with 37" inseams. And none of them have 37" inseams in plus size.

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, PANTS.