Dinner was boilt... Real Talk. Me being a cunt to an even bigger cunt at Sephora... True Story. Dentist Shenanigans... No Guts No Glory. Its all under the fold baybee.
So I made it back to the Dental Torture Chamber this afternoon. The last time I was there the Torturer told me I had like 10 cavities that needed filling. I went and had two filled and haven't been back for months. Well, I get into the chair today and a different Torturer looks at my Xrays, looks in my mouth, looks back at the Xrays, frowns and starts poking around in my mouth again.
I'll be back... Maybe.
Turns out, she can only find ONE cavity that needs to be filled. I asked her what the deal with the other SEVEN cavities is and she said "There are no other cavities. Not that I can see on the Xrays OR in your mouth. The Torturer you saw last is no longer part of this practice." So I was like "Umm, so she was going to put fillings in that I didn't need if I'd kept coming back in?!?" She frowned and said "Yes, most likely she would have. Thats why shes no longer with us here. We don't condone that sort of behaviour, its unethical." I sorta went "Well, I guess its a good thing I was so cagey about coming back here then?" She gave me a crooked smile and said "I suppose so. I'm only going to fill this one cavity that really needs to be filled. Otherwise, your mouth is in pretty good shape."
Oh, those don't look terrifying AT ALL.
And THIS is nightmare fuel for sure.
Well, gee. Thanks for the honesty, I guess. But this doesn't help with my fear of dentists AT ALL. In fact it makes me even more leery and mistrustful, ON TOP of my paralyzing fear of the Sadistic Fucks in the white coats.
They gave me my custom trays and a box of REV! Whitening Gel when I was leaving and we made an appointment for August for cleaning (thats when its 100% covered again.)
I decided to stop in at Sephora on the way home. Who cares if half my face is frozen and I'm likely drooling, right? So I'm skulking around the Benefit area and I see some clownface, bottle blonde (thats not supposed to be OMBRE is it? Black 4" roots changing to butter yellow in a straight line isn't A Thing for 2014, is it? I hope not) mincing around on platform strappy sandals (umm, its Canada and its not the right season for those things... But whatever, she likely needed the weight down there to counter all the extra weight of that stuff spackled over her mug) showing a woman around my age around and pointing out various products. No biggy. If you work there, you might as well wear everything they sell all at once on your face, amirite?
Yeah, I'm sorta catty in my head.
Aaaaaaanyhow. I'm smearing lines of The Big Easy all over my face like I'm going to war or something when Clownface brings over her cussy and starts applying Some Kinda Gorgeous on Cussys face. Clownface steps back, humms and haws with her finger on her chin (so you know shes being seerious.) Cussy says "Is it the right color? I have a hard time matching myself sometimes." Clownface makes a sourface and says "It looks like a decent match, but you really should do something about that moustache." I just about dropped my tube of goo, then I realized my jaw had also dropped. Cussy was mortified and sorta stammered "Uhh, well I don't really like to mess with the hair on my face." Clownface screws her face into something resembling "quizzical" and chirps "I can see that, your eyebrows are just all over the place." Cussy just looked down at her feet and took a deep breath. Then she said in a quiet voice "You know, I think I'm not gonna buy anything here today. Thanks for your time." And she started walking out. I was mortified for her and was frozen there with a tube of goo in my hand.
Clownface turns to me and said "I swear, I don't know why some people bother at all ya know!? You need help picking a shade? I'd recommend Fake Up with that for more coverage." I made my most sour, pissy face and said "I'm surprised anyone bothers at all if you're on the floor. And no, I don't need more coverage advice from the likes of you." She said "WHAT?" I responded "It looks like a blind drag queen who hates you did... Whatever THAT is on your face." *points in a circle at the trainwreck on top of her neck* I turned on my heel and walked out of the store, I was going to try to find the Cussy and tell her not to let the fugly ass ICP Groupie back there get under her skin.
As I reached the threshold I heard Clownface say "Shes trying to steal a tester!"
I was still holding that tube of goo!
I hucked it back over my shoulder without even looking. Hopefully it hit Clownface in her stupid, fucked up face (frankly, it woulda been an improvement.)
I continued on out the door, struttin like I just fucked Thor, but no sign of Cussy anywhere. I would have wanted to get as far away as possible if I'd been surprise attacked about something like that too.
I left the mall and called the store from my car. I asked to speak with the Manager and after a brief time on hold, I got her. I described Clownface and she knew exactly who I was referring to. I told her what her little floor troll said to the Cussy and that it made the Cussy leave immediately without buying a thing. And I told her the comment floor troll made to me and that it made me fucking sick to hear that sort of banter thrown around about a fellow Customer. I explained that instead of buying The Big Easy, more Benetint and a Naked palette, I walked out angry... And yes, I was the one who chucked that tester over my shoulder. Manager apologised profusely and claimed she would talk to her floor troll about her demeanor. I said thats a start, but if she lost two Customers in 5 minutes today, that shes very likely lost many, many more with her piss poor attitude. She asked for my information to send me some sort of coupon or voucher, but I declined. I thanked her and said I'd rather go to Shoppers for those items from here on in. She apologised a little more and I said "Just fix that problem. It's inexcusable to have that occurring ever."
And I dropped my phone onto the passenger seat like it was a mic.
I came home and decided to roll for supper... Not that kinda roll you Molly heads.
A Cottage Roll!
It turned out so well. I added some cabbage and carrots as veggies. Tomorrow I'm going to make pea soup with the Cottage Roll water.
Mmmmm. Barf Soup with Hammmmmmmmmmmm.