From author Rebecca Carroll to her white friends who are upset about the way she writes about race. Here's the heart of it, but read the whole thing:
First of all, anyone who uses the phrase "regardless of race" is, for the most part, someone who does not have to regard race. That is important. It is a cornerstone of this conversation. Next, I'm not really here to protect the feelings of my adult white friends — when we were younger, teens and twenties, my close friends and I were still trying to figure it out, and I was far more willing to allow for their lack of racial awareness then.
But as adults, they should know that the main pillar of racism is that the feelings of white people be protected at all costs — feelings of fear, intimidation, powerlessness, poverty, incompetence, any kind of discomfort whatsoever.
So that when you, white friends, feel any of these things, you can leave the conversation altogether if you want. That's an option for you. You can walk away and resume your life in a world that does not regard race, and not ever talk about it or feel uncomfortable about it again. Your cultural amenities will not have altered.
I urge you not to walk away, though. Your feelings will heal. The issue will remain.