Mr. Leaf was just telling me what characters he still likes on True Blood (FUCKING BEEL AND ALCIDE) and I have concluded he is Barney Stinson. HE PROBABLY ROOTS FOR THE COBRA KAI.

TRUE BLOOD NEW SEASON WE CAN ALL EXPERIENCE IT TOGETHER~~~

I hope Tara does things this season. She deserves a chance to do cool things.

So yeah just so we're clear these vampires are gonna die, imminently, from a terrible disease, and this turns them into roving packs of psycho killers.... how?

It still tickles me that these people need to strip before they jump into animal-transformation action.

WHAT THE FUCK TARA IS DEAD?! INSTA-EPISODE ONE DEAD?!?! THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANTED. EXACT OPPOSITE!!!! She was just on the red carpet saying dead on True Blood doesn't always mean gone and THAT BETTER BE COMING INTO PLAY HERE CAUSE FUCK THAT NOISE.

Tara and Terry come back from dead asap pls.

How are these people even remotely connecting this vampire attack with Sookie's supposed sluttiness.

This buddy system doesn't seem to be working so great.

Jess's boyfriend looks totally different. Am I nuts or did they recast him?

YOU WERE A MOTHERFUCKIN' DOG.

I really don't think that's the same guy.

Yeah Sookah just walk home alone, that's real smart.

Mr. Leaf and I agree: no one would actually throw away their phone. TV shows you silly.

WTF is goin on here Pam? She's preeeeetty far off in her Eric search.

He was a vampire too? Oh so that was legit stakes Russian Roulette. Yikes.

Jess and fairy girl ;__;

Is Sookah gonna break up with Alcide caaauuuse that would be fine.

Def not Jess's original bf.

IDK why I find it weird that vampires can get high.

You are one metaphysical fuck.

As sex on the car commences, Mr. Leaf: Again, there's vampires everywhere. Waiting to kill everybody.

Zombie vampire not ok. ZOMBIES ONLY OK IF NICHOLAS HOULT.

"That'sthevampirebloodtalkin"

Mr. Leaf: "I don't trust basements. Especially Stranger Basements."

When did the crazies from Louisiana get around to infecting every adult in North Africa? For real? Or is there a different vampire-communicable disease?

Weeelll the hanging bodies are pretty horrifying.

When did Andy get badass?

They got weird deputy too! I knew Eric's creepy murder basement would be coming back to haunt us.

Bye bye, weird deputy.

The only way we can have feelings for Beel anymore is if they flash ALL the way back to when he was alive with a family. Cause he's basically been an asshole since then.

Cute little girl, what's your game?

CHURCH DRAMA

Srsly what did Sookah even do? I cannot figure out how this is her fault in any way.

THIS WAS ALL VRY SRS