A few minutes ago I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. Generally I don't answer such calls, but my sister's due date is a week away, and what if it was a friend of hers saying she is in labor?! I'm answering all my calls these days.

Instead, it was a lady looking for [Kirov]. I answered with, "Who is this?" "I'm [Jane Doe] calling from the law firm of A, B, C and Associates. I need to speak with [Kirov] about an urgent and sensitive legal matter."

Now no one wants to hear those words, but especially not me. I have a bit of an anxiety disorder and am massively triggered by any sort of horrid bureaucratic complications, even when they don't involve the scariness of legal trouble. I quickly tried to imagine what it could possibly be (can you be sued for postponing jury duty?) and coming up with nothing, but then additionally terrified that it might be a work thing, I asked her for the Internet address of her law firm. I said I'd like to know who exactly I was talking to.

She said: "You can just google it." I said: "Are you telling me that you don't know the Internet address of the company you work for?" She told me to google it again, and that's when it got fun. I asked: "What names do the initials 'A, B, and C' stand for?" She told me to google that too. I then said that she could tell me the Internet address or I could hang up. So she said, it's ABC and Associates.com. And then she added, "But the 'and' isn't written out, it's that symbol." I said, "You mean an ampersand?" She said yes.

I then patiently explained to her that ampersands can't occur in Internet addresses. I took my time with this explanation, patronizingly calling her by her first name repeatedly. It was awesome, and then she hung up on me.

The End.

P.S.: Am I right about ampersands? I don't Internet well and was kind of making it all up.