TW: fat shaming, weight issues

I learned a long time ago that fat people aren't supposed to go out in public. If we do go out in public we need to realize that we merely serve as a cautionary tale to others, or as a form of entertainment. If you're perceived as "fat" in public, you should have no reasonable expectation for respect. We aren't supposed to be seen at restaurants eating unhealthy foods, or healthy foods for that matter; we aren't supposed to use public transportation; and we aren't supposed to enjoy entertainment events. These are all things that only skinny people should do.

Unfortunately, I'm considered fat, and yet I still like to do these things. There are days when I dread going to events that I should be enjoying, all because I know I'm going to be committing the cardinal sin of being fat in public. One type of event that I happen to love is baseball games with my dad. We have season tickets to the local university's home games; we've had them for years. I generally look forward to baseball weekends, but I always worry in advance for Saturdays.

Saturdays are busy at the ballpark. The games tend to have the largest crowds for the weekends (by no means is the stadium full, though, just probably closer to half or 2/3 full rather than the usual 1/4). Don't get me wrong, I love the crowd supporting my team, but not when I'm made to feel like I'm a problem for being outside while fat. Saturdays are definitely the worst, which is why I wasn't expecting any problems tonight. Friday night games are usually pretty dead. People are doing other things, so there's less of a crowd. But when the school is playing conference rivals, all bets are off.

We have good seats. We pay a premium price to sit where we want to sit. Generally if we're late to a game there is someone already sitting in them that we have to kick out. Since my seat is on the inside I typically have to be the one to say "I'm sorry, but we're these first two." I've had people react huffy at being asked to vacate the seats that we paid for in an otherwise empty stadium, I've had people apologize unnecessarily for sitting there (everyone does it! NBD!), but tonight was definitely a new one.

I apologized for telling the group of two college aged girls and four boys that we were the first two seats in the row. One of the girls looked me up and down before gathering her things as the group moved down two seats. I assumed my "try to get as small as possible" position, crossing my arms, sitting as far over into my dad as I could. The girl next to me continued to "accidentally" elbow and kick me throughout an inning in an attempt to show me that I needed to be skinny even though she had to go beyond the confines of her seat in order to do so.

I heard the sighs and the laughs from her and her group and I didn't want to think they were about me, until I heard someone tell her to take a picture. She opened up snapchat and proceeded to hold up the phone in order to take a selfie. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that instead of the picture having her as the dominant image, that I was the one prominently featured. I have no clue how many people will be laughing at her horrible luck of being stuck next to the fat girl. At least they'll only be required to look at me for a matter of seconds, right?

I didn't say anything, fat people aren't supposed to expect common decency. Even though I was confined well within the limit of my seat, I was still fat in public tonight. Oh well, I guess I still have Saturday to look forward to.