So I tried on a monokini today.

I want to know what evil sadistic asshole invented this thing that masquerades as a "one piece."

Monokinis: When You Didn't Feel Bad Enough in a Bikini

I'm sorry to all you monokini wearers out there, but this thing is a piece of fresh hell. Do you have boobs? They're totally not fitting in this. Worried about your lower stomach? It's going to look so much bigger than it does in reality. Do you have a large derriere? You might as well wear a thong to the beach. Do you have a small waist? You don't now! Do you mind picking wedgies out of your labia? I hope you don't!

I'm pretty sure that this thing was invented by Satan.