Welcome back to another lovely installment of "Jerk I Work With" in which I rant about my asshole coworker who basically lives to prove that he is the only person in the world with work priorities, deadlines, and important projects.

JIWW is working on a project with me (it's the only project he's working, it's one of my five). I have been asking for inputs from JIWW regarding an aspect in which I asked him to give me 3-5 specific items for something. So he says "Is there anyway we can have more than 3-5" and gives me 7, not including the 1 that our Senior Vice President wanted included, so he gives me 8. He sends this via email and asks that I expand the section from 3-5 to 7 (8).

I respond last night giving my thoughts on why we need to keep the section at no more than 5 items (more is just more, we're trying to shoot skeet with a canon with the route that he's trying to take, etc.) It's hard to explain without giving more details about my job, but I think I'm right and JIWW thinks he's right. So I included the Senior VP on the email to be the final call if JIWW doesn't back down.

This morning, first thing, JIWW comes in and says "So is there anyway we can have more than 3-5?" Thinking to myself "this sounds familiar to the email from last night" so I asked him if he read my response. "No." So I told him to read my response and if he had questions after to go ahead and discuss it. "Well, just summarize it for me."

Seriously, read the fucking email first, and then talk to me, it's not that hard! My time is just as important, which is why I don't need to be responding twice to the exact same point—I already responded. Read it, process it, ask additional questions if necessary, and move on.

And learn to spell my fucking name correctly. We've worked together for over a year and a half, my name isn't all that uncommon. And it is literally my email. If you can email me, you can learn how to spell my name when you fill out the salutation.

Jerk I Work With - Email Edition