I've seen my own ass...

And I love it!

Guys, I'm pretty much in love with my own ass. I'll say it: my ass rocks. I've actually stopped walking because I see a reflection of my own beautiful butt in a window. And backed up. And bounced it around. Oh, how I enjoy the rare view of my own behind!

Other people who get to see it all the time are lucky. I'm jealous of people who aren't me: they can watch that piece of art jiggle its way around a room.

So, I'm fat and maybe they don't appreciate it, maybe my butt's not their thing. But, to me, it's beautiful.

Once, I hopped onto a bed in a hotel room and saw my bouncing butt in the window's reflection. I started humping the bed just to watch it move and called over my shoulder to HomeyHeart, "No wonder you married me! Look at this thing go! My ass is hot!"

Ain't no shame in recognizing that which makes me awesome. And yes, I'm smart, and funny, and kind and all the other things that make a person great. But my intelligence doesn't stop me walking as I pass a mirror, amirite?!

What about you? What do you love about your looks?