I haven't been on Groupthink for as long as some of you guys, so maybe I'm not as popular as some of you. Maybe I'm about to make myself more unpopular. Whatever it is, I always cherish Groupthink, so I stay away from huge fights that might possibly make me seem hostile, or aggressive or maybe downright stupid. I'm even pretty nice to trolls nowadays. So to insert myself into this... controversy is a bit hard for me, but I feel like I need to put in my two cents. Obviously I want this to be solved once and for all, so that Groupthink can be a happy, nice place again. And I'm willing to put my name on the line.
TL;DR: Thin privilege IS NOT COMPARABLE TO WHITE/ MALE PRIVILEGE (face it, skinny isn't conventionally attractive), fat shaming is a thing and I empathize, but most of all, BODY POSITIVITY. Which means, don't let ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR BODY. Except maybe for medical reasons. But still, LOOK CLOSELY AT THOSE "MEDICAL" REASONS AND BE OBJECTIVE.
Right. So, as a skinny person, who admittedly doesn't fully understand the problems of a fat person, I try. I understand that there are fat people who face discrimination. Icringewhen fat people are used as a punchline, when people even think that fat isn't attractive. I try to pay attention to the fat acceptance movements. Lately, I picked up a book by Loni McMichael called "Acceptable Prejudice? Fat, Rhetoric and Social Justice". According to the back of the book, it has wonderful reviews from fat activists and bloggers, who hailed it as some sort of bible. I thought to myself, boy, am I in for a treat.
I was. In a way.
The first few chapters were okay, though, if I were to be honest, it was boring to me. But I persevered, thinking that I should listen to her, because there was a good underlying message. Then I got to, maybe Chapter 3 or so, when she talked about the "boyish" figures during the time of the flapper girls.
I just. Man, I can't even. It sounds subtle right? Maybe it can't even qualify as an insult. (Though really, the word "boyish" was complete unnecessary, and sounded more like an attempt to demean skinny women to elevate the status of fatter people.) So I just ignored it, and carried on reading. Later on in the book, she describes how some fat women are made to feel sexless, to be stripped of their title of women. You'd think that such a writer would have some sympathy for women who were considered unfeminine. But no, this empathy is only for fat women. I wanted to fucking laugh, and from that point onwards I could no longer take her seriously. This is a woman fighting for social justice, who's supposed to have a more nuanced view than "LOL REAL WOMEN HAVE BOOBS". Yet, this is precisely the message I got from her.
Let's face it, it's much easier to be bad and insult others to make yourself look and feel better. This is precisely what many plus sized people do, and anti-skinny propaganda has spread all over the internet and society like a fucking plague. Let's take this picture for example:
Oh poor skinny woman… if only you would realize how hideous you are next to real women.
Skinny women are diagnosed with anorexia just from the way they look, and people often forget that anorexia is a mental condition, not a physical one. It's said that since many women aspire to be "thin", they aspire to be nothing. It's as if… I'm nothing.
Don't tell your personal story
But I want to tell it! I know it, and this is the only use it can be put to!
I shit you not- I did not have a fucking happy time as a skinny person. Yeah sure, my troubles can't possibly compare to you fat people, but at least let me tell you about it. When fat people come up to me and tell me their stories, I don't stop them and tell her mine. No, I listen. I certainly don't holler "SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT OPPRESSED". And I've never thought I would ever have a chance, so at least let me do this once.
Last year, I stood at a total of 37 kilograms. I've gained weight since, perhaps because of of antidepressants (Luvox), and now weigh 43 kg. People praise me for doing that. Yay! I'm finally more conventionally attractive! I no longer look "skeletal"! (All this while, I think, what was wrong with my old body? I liked it!) Oh, BTW, if I get off antidepressants, all the weight will come back off, and I'm back to look anorexic and unwomanly. Maybe I should be depressed forever.
People constantly tell me to eat more, and I love their faces when I cram eight fucking slices of pizza in my mouth vulgarly . I once went to a doctor (she's plus-sized, if that's relevant) because I didn't have my period for six months, and she told me that the problem was I weighed as much as a child, so I couldn't be a woman, hence, no period!! Her prescription? Gain some weight.
FUCKING GENIUS!!!! WHY DIDN'T I FUCKING THINK OF THAT!!!!
Guess what, doctor? I gained 6 kg and still no fucking blood in my fucking panties!
My feminity/ womanhood is constantly undermined. I've had friends told me that I'd look like a child forever. One of them told me that I shouldn't be afraid of rape, because I looked like a child (because I'm too skinny, see!), unless the rapist was into girls like Lolita. Not gonna lie, that hurt. But also I felt really angry.
Perhaps the problem with some of you women is that you perceive skinny women as attractive. Well, here comes Man! Coming to tell you that you're wrong. Even though you might think that men consider skinny women attractive, they only want to stick their dick into women 10- 15 pounds heavier than us. Maybe women who look more like you! Here (http://elitedaily.com/women/beauty/m...) is an article telling you about how men like curvy women. And another one (http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-04-30/min...) , this time from a man. Throughout internet, there are messages of this kind everywhere. Real men want full, curvy women.
Ladies, here's a heartening news flash: Thin is NOT in. Men crave curves
Sure, I find this very heartening. Face it, I, and skinny women, don't have thin privilege, because it's a privilege only men can give.
To me, body positivity is simple. It's about the male gaze, the patriarchy, and how it pits us against each other. Skinny women might be in now, but it won't be too long until the tide changes. Let's not let society determine our worth and eating habits. Let's not rage at anyone who suffers. Let's not be blind to other people's suffering just because we suffer too. Let not the patriarchy win by putting us into two camps, based purely on our sizes. As cheesy as it sounds, we're all beautiful.
ETA: please don't hate me
ETA 2: Most of the interpretations are misleading and not what I meant at all. I'm sorry that this was the impressions you guys got. I do recognize fat people face a lot more oppression than thin people. I never disputed that. Perhaps we should all calm down and reexamine this issue later?