And it's all because I never check my fucking email, unless somebody calls me and tells me they are sending me something.

I just got a call today with regard to a job I really, really don't want (it's in law enforcement. I don't even know why I am still pursuing it, other than my mom will have a fucking conniption if she finds out I stopped pursuing it). Anyways, they told me they were going to send me something via email, so I checked mine. Come to find out I had an email from a job I actually did want, to take a test whose deadline for filing passed on Friday. I basically completely forgot about the damned thing when I initially filled out a preliminary application for it at the beginning of the year. Now a thing that I would and could actually see myself doing, that could have actually lead to bigger and better things, and would have finally gotten my fucking foot in the door, is gone bye-bye.

And I only have myself to blame for this crap.

I'm so angry at myself right now . . .