"There are only so many times you can pat yourself on the back for concluding it's time to make a change without following through to the finish. Not drinking for two and a half years gave me the gift of never having to think about controlling myself."

Oh BuzzfeedS

The only thing I remotely agree with in this article is the title. If you fall off the wagon, you should feel okay. Shame and guilt will only cause you to spiral back to that place where everything is terrible and oblivion seems preferable. If you fall off the wagon, I will not judge you. If I fall off the wagon, I hope others will not judge me. If you're not on the wagon at all, great! I sincerely hope you enjoy your boozing and it gives you happiness. I will make fun of you for your hangovers, though. But then he writes the rest of the article.

The rest of the article, in summary:

"I quit drinking for two and a half years because I have a terrible problem with overindulgence. They were the best two and a half years of my life. So I started drinking again. Since I did that, I've blacked out twice and made a mess of myself both times. But nothing truly terrible happened. Nevertheless, I'm going to keep drinking because it's bad to stop doing something bad for you if you can't fix all your problems."

Give it a read, if only for insight into how alcoholism works.

P.S. Yes, I am being judgmental. I am judgmental because I hear these arguments in my head, and have heard them before. Listening to these (admittedly quite rational) arguments has only caused me suffering. Maybe he's not an alcoholic. Maybe his life will be great with purportedly moderated drinking. Maybe no actual alcoholics will read this paean and ruin their lives.

MAYBE I AM ACTUALLY A BEAR

Oh BuzzfeedS