I applied and was turned down for a job that is CRAZY that I didn't get. But this is about my mom. Being a mom and a problem solver, she told me a reason that I perhaps didn't get the job. And BOY, is it crazy.

Perhaps, he was looking for a woman who was more of a "yes person." I have "strong opinions" and would be more forward about "speaking up" about them. Perhaps he didn't want that kind of person.

This advice came up after me mentioning maybe he didn't want to hire a woman. This is also at least the second time she's said this. When she got to the phrases I quoted, audio memories flashed by. She's said this before. When I push her about her theory being weird, she falls back into "well, you wouldn't want to work for a guy like that anyways."

After not getting a job, your mind seeks to find a reason why. I also called to politely ask what I could work on for future job interviews. Every "reason" I got was one of my strengths. When I say that I was qualified for this job, I mean OMG AM I QUALIFIED! Not crazy OVER-QUALIFIED but let's say that the special experience they were looking for was something I studied at high profile schools for over four years. And availability? CRAZY AVAILABILITY!

So my mother is either explaining someone else's sexism or verbally manuevering around a possibly negative character trait of mine. Or both. Or none. I don't know.

Growing up, I wanted to do everything that women were perceived not to do. Lift heavy things. Move boxes. Have a strong handshake. Look people in the eye. Speak up. Good at math. So these "strong opinions" and my willingness to "express them" have been a part of my personality since high school. I used to think they were more male but now they're just normal human being traits.

Now that my current job and reference is nannying (or as the business owner said, "babysitting"), am I neuturing myself/shooting myself in the foot? I'm perceived to be a strong woman but now have work experience that can be dismissed as something a high schooler does or perhaps something I, as a woman, was born to do so no big deal.

Yeah, I'll get back on the horse, it's good experience, blah blah blah. But guys, this seriously was the first job I've applied for in forever and I was PSYCHED about it. Blah blah, apply to different jobs, blah blah. I hate sounding like a cliche.

DISORGANIZED POST, OUT!