FUCK YOU COMPANIES THAT HAVE YOUR OWN FANCY WEBSITE TO APPLY TO JOBS!

9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THEY ARE POORLY DESIGNED, THEY DON'T WORK YOU WANT ME TO COME UP WITH FANCY PASSWORDS AND USERNAMES FOR SOMETHING I'M GOING TO USE ONCE.

THEN A FEW YEARS LATER IF YOU APPLY AGAIN THERE'S ALL SORTS OF ISSUES WITH EMAILING USERNAMES AND I HAVE TO REMEMBER A PASSWORD FROM 5 YEARS AGO!

MY SKILLS AND JOB ARE MORE THAN COVERED BY SUBMITTING A RESUME. YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING FANCY OR A PORTFOLIO AND I DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT'S UNUSUAL OR THAT ONLY 10 PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO DO.

Seriously, though. Thankfully I have wine and I'm Netflixing.