And make friendships? I feel so alone.

Biggie is filming overnight in Hamilton tonight, so I'm on my own. I used to love nights like this, since it was a break from the close coupledom we usually had going. I could watch whatever I wanted and sleep in the middle of the bed. Except this is fast becoming the way my life always is.

While our probation is a good kind of distraction - our day to day seems better than it's been in a long time - I know he's not going to change his heart. He's not being a coward about just breaking it off. This is what I wanted. I wanted to try. But now I'm just delaying the inevitable so I don't have to feel the full weight of the break up. And truthfully, I still hope there's a sliver of a chance that he'll realize how wrong he is and we'll be better than ever. But I know that's not the case.

So here I am, crying in bed because I have no one. I'm the type to have a few, close friends. I have a handful of friends sprinkled throughout Ontario, but only three or so close friends in Toronto. And these three people are chronically busy. My older sister has been a tremendous help through the emotional stuff, but she lives two hours away.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't have anyone to call on. No one I can ask to meet me for a drink or to go see a movie on the fly. Before, I valued my alone time but now my alone time is all my time (or it will be soon). I've looked into meetup.com but there doesn't seem to be a great deal of things happening tonight or across my interests generally. I think a book club is a good place to start long term, but art classes are out of my price range. What other sorts of things can I do to meet people and cultivate friendships?

Also, if anyone in Toronto is free tonight, let me know.