Gym Judgement

One of my many failings is that I am a pretty judgemental person. I've noticed that I've been doing *a lot* of double takes at the gym recently, so thought I would share my view on "JUDGEMENT DESERVED" and "FUCK YOU FOR BEING JUDGEMENTAL" lists.

Let's start with the deserved judgement. Because that's more fun.

1) Women who don't wear a bra when working out. Specifically, high impact sports.

Seriously, what are you doing? STAAAHHHHHHPPP!!!

2) People (men namely in my experience) who absolutely REEK on the machines.

DEODORANT. Seriously, show some consideration for the people around you!!!

3) People who wear completely inappropriate stuff to the gym.

I'm looking at you - person on the treadmill yesterday in denim jeggings. And woman on the stationary bike in a black wool polo neck jumper. Also see: People running on the treadmill in converse. Girl who was running on a treadmill wearing OPAQUE TIGHTS (they are not even trousers). And man running in what I can only describe as boating shoes.

I should point out here that this is a private gym (I lucked out with membership through mr kay kay's work), and there is a Decathlon (budget sports shop) on the way INTO the gym. You can buy an entire sports outfit (including trainers) for about 40 euros. A pair of gym shorts can cost less than 6 euros. Six.

4) People who don't clean the machines after using them.

I know it's irritating that in some places you have to walk to the other side of the room to get paper and cleaning fluid to clean the machine, but YOU'RE AT THE GYM. DON'T BE A LAZY FUCK AND GET THE STUFF TO CLEAN THE MACHINE.

5) Men who stare at the arse of the woman/women in front of them. Namely when treadmills or cross trainers are involved.

I am judging you for being a pervy bastard. You are not being subtle. All the women within a ten foot radius of you are judging you. If you need a distraction, listen to music. Don't creep on women. It's especially creepy when the woman involved is pretty young and the guy involved is middle aged.

6) People who try and start up conversations with you whilst you are working out.

I took out my earphones and stopped running because I thought you had something important to tell me/ask me, such as: "sorry but could you tell me how to use this machine" or "sorry your laces are untied" or "could you move your bag please". I did not take out my earphones so you could make bullshit small talk with me then ask if I'm married. Fuck you. With a spade.

7) People who use the gym as a social outlet rather than somewhere to exercise.

Maybe I'm pretty unreasonable here, since these people pay their membership like anyone else. But. If you are in full make up, with your long, beautifully coiffed hair down, with quite a lot of jewellery on, moving at what can only be described at glacial speed (to prevent sweating off your make up I presume), having a leisurely chat with your girlfriend next to you...could you not please just do that in a cafe? Especially when it's pretty much peak hour and people who actually want to do sport are waiting for machines?

WHEN BEING JUDGEMENTAL MAKES YOU A COMPLETE DICK.

1) When someone can run an hour or more and barely break a sweat.

Yes, I know when people bitch about these people it is through a degree of envy (and they do. Regularly). But seriously, can you not just STFU and respect the fact they've worked hard to get that far? These people aren't trying to show off. They are just exercising. Seriously.

2) When someone at the gym is extremely overweight.

Because fuck you - gym's can be super intimidating. Especially if the person next to you is basically a Sport's Illustrated model in tiny shorts and a tiny top, or one of the people mentioned in indent one of this section. Whilst I have a lot of respect for people who are clearly super fit and in great shape, I always have just as much respect for people who are pretty much morbidly obese and taking the first steps (figuratively). It takes a lot of courage and I can imagine can be very disheartening at times.

3) When someone is pregnant.

For all the talk about how a woman has to keep her weight down, and lose weight within five seconds of giving birth, there remains a surprising amount of vitriol for pregnant women at gyms. "Are you sure that's good for the baby?" "Shouldn't you be resting"? "You're not meant to push yourself during pregnancy", "is that SAFE?"

FUCK OOOOOFFFFFFFFFF. They are on a stationary bike/treadmill in a gym! They aren't extreme mountain biking, or doing bikram yoga, or tight roping!

4) When someone looks like shit.

I honestly find it surprising that there are people who negatively judge others for being a bright red, make up-less sweaty mess of doom, with hair sticking up every which way and sweat patches all down their top. I mean - it shows that they have been working hard and putting in their best effort. What have YOU been doing?

5) When someone has to ask how to use a machine.

Our gym doesn't do inductions (which is good as I hate inductions), but it does mean that sometimes, if you aren't familiar with a machine, there can be some guesswork involved. It doesn't mean that person is new - they might never have used the weights before. It doesn't mean they are an idiot. And if you are decent person, you will show them, answer their question, or ask them to wait a sec whilst you finish up and then show them. Don't roll your eyes at them. Douchebag.