So even though it feels like last night's episode consisted of one five-minute scene from which we'll all be recovering for a very long time, other stuff happened on Game of Thrones last night. And one thing in particular has me wanting to gouge out my own eyes in frustration.
A lot of jokes have been made over the past few seasons of Jorah Mormont being in the "friend zone." I assumed (wrongly, it turns out) that everyone understood Jorah's affections for what they were: creepy and horrible. And that all of the "friend zone" comments were being made in jest, since a 50-something dude wanting to bang the teenage queen he betrayed is kind of the worst.
This is a man who is supposed to be her adviser. Not only did he lust after a child (who was married for at least part of the time he was advising her), but he also spied on her, lied about it and nearly got her killed. Even now, his information has made her takeover of Westeros much more difficult than it would've been otherwise.
Dany confirms that she should have him killed, and instead allows him to live as long as he gets the fuck out of town.
But you know who's the real victim here?
Also, Dany what a hardass bitch I hope u die. Poor Jorah all he wanted was 2 love u down.
— Hamad Mubarak (@HamadMubarak) June 2, 2014
"@JonSnowBastrd: Moment of silence for Jorah. He might have been banished but at least he escaped the friendzone."
— 鄭萬偉 / 郑万伟 (SJ) (@SeigfreidUy) June 2, 2014
*EVEN MORE SPOILERS* and jorah as well )': made me cry tbh. he is the literal definition of a nice guy in the friendzone tho now :L
— dragons (@_sarahmonsta) June 2, 2014
Seriously though, last night's Game of Thrones was gut wrenching. I'm still not over Jorah getting dumped while in the friend zone.
— alex (@steven_lebron) June 2, 2014
And let's not forget when khaleesi told Jorah to leave 😆😅 .. 'I love you' aww bless him...not the best way to get out of the friendzone :')
— Rafeea_x (@Rafeeax) June 2, 2014
— Syahirah (@eternaldays) June 2, 2014
Fuck you dany, jorah has done so much for you stupid bitch
— taz from Paramore (@swiftswho) June 2, 2014
Also poor Jorah, Dany why you gotta be a bitch.
— Christopher Mertl (@ChrisMertl) June 2, 2014
DANY YOU COLD HARD BITCH HE LOVED YOU
— Edward Lee (@theelee13) June 2, 2014
Fuck Dany Targaryen. Arrogant, self-entitled, pretentious, self-righteous bitch. #GoT
— Tyler G. Rollman (@TylerGuy17) June 2, 2014
Dany needs to stop bring a super bitch. Jorah was only trying to help her. #GameOfThrones
— Mallory Leonard (@Skittle12) June 2, 2014
Daenerys won't be able to achieve anything without Jorah, he was the wise one.
— sondos (@herondalesjem) June 2, 2014
Daenerys wouldn't even hear Jorah out! 😠 don't worry Jorah, I love u x
— Chloé (@chloblenc) June 2, 2014
So, to recap: a middle-aged man has inappropriate feelings for an underage girl. He puts her life in danger. He sabotages her plans. But we should pity him because she didn't let him fuck her?