No mainpaging.

It has been one year since my friend broke up with me. I wrote this shortly after it happened. This was harder than any romantic break up I have had in my life and that is my own fault. I'm still constantly working on the moving on because it is impossible to remove the person completely because social media and high school reunions.

The word friends is being used rather loosely.

A narcissist can't be a friend and anyone who has met a narcissist knows that.

A friendship is give and take and all a narcissist can do is take.

The narcissist only takes what they want and when you can't or won't give them what they want they are gone. The narcissist walks out of your life with the disturbing ease of discarding a pair of shoes that are worn through or taking out the trash.

Sometimes it is hard to see the narcissist until they leave. Sometimes it is only when they leave that you realize how much they took from you.

It is in the moments of grieving for a lost friendship that you begin to put the pieces together.

The disturbing truth that uncovered the lies and half truths about the narcissist's "terrible" family.

The times when you went to the narcissist for support but ended up apologizing to the narcissist and now you can't remember why.

Remembering how the narcissist constantly needed sympathy and support but seemed unable to reciprocate..

When you told the narcissist months after that your uncle has cancer. You told the narcissist how you were scared. You couldn't say it because saying it made it real. The narcissist made you feel guilty for not telling them and you apologized to the narcissist.

You were the center of the narcissist's world.

Until you weren't.

Then you take responsibility and you begin to move on.