An associate in his office offered to "help" us with our section of the progressive dinner tomorrow. I thought she meant help like bring an item, but instead she meant help as in offer a bunch of useless ideas that only serve to stress my husband out in terms of our offerings. LADY STEP ASIDE, I GOT THIS.

When I say useless, I mean useless. She offered ideas for generic appetizers that don't even go with what we are having. Satay and peanut sauce? Girlfriend I told you were were having an Italian anti-pasto spread. COME ON.

I think he did a bad idea of describing what we have planned, so she probably reacted thinking that shit was going to go awry. And she is super sweet and so I don't mean to sound so harsh; there is certainly an air of joking here.

BUT LET ME DO MY THING. I am a hostess. I know how to plan parties. I like to crowdsource for ideas from the internet, ok? Not real life people.

I mean, just check out this cocktail menu:


Bourbon Summer Punch:

Bourbon – Honey Sage Syrup – Grapefruit


Cucumber Lemonade:

Gin – Fresh Lemonade – Cucumbers


Riesling – Chardonnay – Sauvignon Blanc

Pinot Noir – Grenache – Malbec


Cigar City: Jai Alai – Maduro Brown

Florida Cracker – Tocobaga Red

Bud Light


Raspberry Lemonade – Water

And here's my "suggested combinations" menu for the antipasto:

Roasted Grapes, Honey Fig Cream Cheese, Italian Bread

Beef and Pork Meatball, Mozzarella, Basil Vinaigrette, Whole Wheat Baguette

Spring Pea Pesto, Prosciutto, Chèvre,

Italian Bread

Tomato and Saffron Confit, Manchego,

Whole Wheat Baguette

Caramelized Onions, Gorgonzola,

Italian Bread

Chèvre, Arugula Spinach Salad,

Rosemary Cracker

We've got TONS of other food items, including crabcakes and risotto balls (catered in). STOP STRESSING MY HUSBAND OUT.

/rant over.