Over on Crosstalk, some of us are discussing how, unless a woman has done "due diligence," she's partly responsible if she gets sexually assaulted. There are great ideas so far about what constitutes "due diligence," and I'm learning a lot. For instance, I just learned that when I'm wearing "provocative clothing" I shouldn't hang out by myself in dark alleys!
But since women who haven't done due diligence are only partly responsible when they get raped, rapists must be partly responsible as well! So the obvious question is: How can men do due diligence to mitigate their chance of being a rapist? Since I got such great advice about provocative clothing and dark alleys — about the ways I can do due diligence — I thought I'd return the favor with a list of ways men can do due diligence to try to avoid raping women.
—Wear horse blinders. In order to mitigate the amount of provocative clothing you see, wear horse blinders at all times. You'll only see provocative clothing directly in front of you and women can easily move out of your line of sight.
—Wear a male chastity belt (link NSFW). Give your wife the only key.
—Learn to carry a strong sleeping pill in your mouth like a spy carrying cyanide. When you feel the urge to rape, swallow the pill.
—Carry thumbtacks, and put a couple in your shoes to slow you down when you see a woman you might want to follow and rape.
—When you see a woman you're interested in raping, hiss at her like Nosferatu so she knows you're a potential rapist.
—Avoid dark alleys where women tend to congregate when they're wearing provocative clothing.
—Under no circumstances should you fraternize with women who drink alcohol.
—Have security cameras added to every room in your house; knowing they're there recording you will be a disincentive when you want to rape one your family members.
—Only allow yourself chaperoned time with your family members, so there's a third person around when you might want to rape one of them. Never hang out one-on-one with a date or friend.
—Carry a rape whistle to alert women that there is a potential rapist in the vicinity.
Any more ideas for how men can do due diligence? Leave them in the comments.