My ex and I have been trying to determine where to settle down (something we would like to do before our son starts public school). He currently lives in SF and I am in Sac—I would love to live in SF but it's just not financially feasible and I am nervous to lose the nearby support of my parents (i.e. they can pick up my son if I have a late meeting, etc).

Which would you choose?

So, it seems that it will be in Sac. I have started researching places to live and have encountered an issue I haven't had in awhile—safety. I may be totally crazy, but the thought of living in a single family home makes me nervous now that I am a single mom.

Looking into apartments/lofts, the big issues I've run across are money (I could afford it but it would also be nice to pay less), 2 bedrooms are hard to come by (but I am willing to explore a set up whereby my son has the room and I can sleep in the living space, if it's large enough), and lack of bathtubs (I have a toddler who is not shower-ready).

I have found a few great buildings, like an old mill that's been converted into lofts (1 bedrooms and studios only) and some crappy ones (zero personality and expensive). Single family homes, townhomes, etc. can be beautiful, there's a lot of pretty craftsman style homes and 30-40s era buildings with hardwood floors and nice built-ins (although also a lot of victorians, of which I am not a fan)....but finding a GREAT one is tough. And again, I am getting wigged out about safety, especially because some of the newer buildings have security and, in general, more people around in close proximity.

I guess I will continue to focus on both, but I am just curious if you guys think I am being paranoid about the safety thing. My dad is also convinced I need a place with a yard, but that's why god invented parks.