In order to function as a woman in the world, you have to walk around pretending you're not that vulnerable. As individuals we believe that we're stronger. I remember, at 24-years-old, play-fighting with my boyfriend in his bed. "Bet you can't pin me" I teased. I did spin-class. I did yoga. I believed it. So we tussled. We rolled around, and pushed and hit. And he pinned me. Easily. So we tussled harder. Then we tussled again. And again and again. Because he couldalways pin me. All skinny, pale, 6 feet of him could pin me. Every time. Even when I fought past the point of flirtation. Even when I started to get pissed. To really try. He could pin me. He could always fucking pin me. And it all came home to me, right then, that I couldn't get away. If anyone wanted to do anything to me. I couldn't claw, fight, scratch my way out of it. Not even me, who felt so strong. Who did so much research. It doesn't matter how capable you are if someone decides to take something from you. And we're living in a world where that happens all the time. Where subconsciously, we must be validating this behavior, or it wouldn't continue on such a profound level. [Source]

To any man, this might look ridiculous. To some women even. But mostly I hate being victimized, I hate those horrific rape movies where the girl always have to lie down while the guy thrusts into her. That's why I loved The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, to date, it's the only movie I've ever watched where the girl finally triumphs. I want to believe that I have that kind of strength too. But I'm not a guy. I can't bench 100 kilos even if I go to the gym every couple of days. And even those guys who use the same dumbbells as me? They'd probably win. When I watch movies like Precious, or when I hear of another rape story, I am just filled up with so much pent-up frustration and anger and I want to fucking kill all of those fucked-up rapists who repeatedly abuse women. I'm sick of being small and weak. I'm sick of being on the victims' team. No, murder isn't enough. If I ever was raped, I want to throw plates on their heads and make them bleed and bend them over and fuck them with a giant dildo ten times the size of the dicks they used to rape women with. I want to make them beg, I want to ignore them when they say no.


But fuck. I'm 158 cm tall and 43 kilograms heavy and my baby brother is taller than me.

ETA: To put the strength of women relative to men in perspective

Question: If an average man competes with a hundred random women in muscle strength tests - how many from that hundred would he expect to beat?

Answer: All of them.


- Because only about one woman per thousand is stronger than the average man.

(Subject to caveats below)

[Source]

And even if you're the one woman in a thousand, chances are you won't be considered a woman in society because you'd look too masculine. The vision of a true woman is a weak woman. Society is trying to starve us with those crash diets, when we need exercise to be healthy. Training helps to reduce the discrepancy between the strength of men and women. It's good to acknowledge the biological differences, but detrimental to hold up a weak woman as the ideal woman. (See: female celebrities that get praised for losing weight, models who have to live on boiled eggs and very little food)