Please, guys, come up with any and all you can do to distract me from the phone not ringing with a job offer. Until mid-next week I am paralyzed with anxiety, dread, and possibly false hope.

Not holding up good!

I love giving advice (and it's usually pretty sound even if I am, as evidenced in this very post, not dealing with my own life very well), I can tailor you a list of book recommendations for your summer trip, or receive any FAQ about things I'm a relative expert in: Being progressive in the South, the history of Apple products, essential flavored seltzer waters, and crossword tips. I can't really give legal advice but I can give opinions on legal situations and/or famous trials.